John McCain vs. Tiger Woods: The Ultimate “Boat Race”

Asshattery, F*ck the Republicans!!!, Stop Reading Your Fax, Fool!!, The Keith Olbermann Files April 9th, 2008

Now…perhaps the youthful inspirational speaker who introduced the old man McCain at the aformentioned rally can be forgiven for not reading his fax correctly; or losing his place in the TelePrompTer and winging it out of his arse; or perhaps he didn’t have the heart to break out the usual “B. Hussein Obama” smack that was originally intended and fell back on the closest “Calblinasian” he could find.

Or, he might have been merely talking about effective role models for heroes (apparently Eldrick doesn’t come close to Johnny Mac when it comes to enduring legacy).

Or…it was just a Freudian slip designed as a “dog whistle” for those Southern rednecks who might still have a problem with a Black man or person of color occupying their beloved “White House.”

Ahhhh..whatever.

Just ignore the racial aspects of this, and get into a REAL comparison between the two “role models”.

First, the background of all this, courtesy of KO.

Countdown w/ Keith Olbermann (4-8-08): McCain speaker compares Barack Obama to Tiger Woods (via YouTube)

Let me reveal why I really don’t think that McCain will win this argument.

First off, Tiger never firebombed or napalmed any Vietnamese. McCain did, (Woods 1 UP)

[Using Ryder Cup scoring for this battle.)

Second…Tiger never got himself involved with shysters like Charles Keating. McCain did. (Woods 2 UP))

Third….even if you consider Charles Barkley’s classic axiom that athletes should not be considered role models, I’d suppose that neither should politicians. Yes, McCain is an veteran and a certified army hero who survived the “Hanoi Hilton”; and that deserves all due respect…but he isn’t running against the Viet Cong. He’s running for President of the United States….and at least he and his spokesmen should be able to distinguish the enemy. I mean, it’s not as if Obama and Woods are spankin’ twins.

But that’s not the real slam dunk argument here…never mind Eldrick’s legacy as a golf professional; just take a look at hoe Tiger is shredding the competition most recently:

* He’s won SEVEN of the last NINE tournaments he’s played this year…and barely missed by one shot the ones he lost.

* He’s favored to sweep the four major tournaments (Masters, PGA Championship, British, US Open), which would make him the only male golfer to complete the “Grand Slam” of pro golf in the same year. Considering that he has already the only golfer to win all four tournaments back-to-back (in the infamous “Tiger Slam” of 2002-2003), that seems like a safe bet.

* He’s already won more money on the world pro tour in three months than many golfers have won in the entire year….let along their lifetime.

Scoreboard. Woods wins 10 & 9.

In other words, Senator McCain….do you really, really, really want to go there????

Time to get you a better class of introducer at your rallies, OK???

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